Another day and another hit on the chin. Do you believe that some people are just born to experience a miserable life? My mum today had the courtesy to tell me that two days ago (bear in mind that I put my dog to sleep last night) that my dad had to go for some further marrow tests as his doctor is worried about something. My dad had leukaemia, got two transplants and no more can be done for him if the cancer is back! While I appreciate her honesty ( a long time ago I told her that she shouldn't hide my anything from me because she hid that my granddad had cancer), I only wished she had waited for the results (positive or negative) to mention it to me not the day after I lost my dog! Anyway I believe that God is testing me because although I'm really sad for my dog (and cried a lot at work today), I got home and didn't feel so bad. All his belongings have been put in the bin (I don't want another dog), and I'm at peace with it. I know I did the right thing. For my dad I'm sad but the results aren't here yet so why worry about it! Once they are here I'll deal with it. I can't explain why but I have a feeling that God is pushing me to let go of H. I don't know how to express myself but I think he is throwing all this at me to 1) show me that I can detach/ or put things into perspective and see the whole picture (re dog/ my dad); 2) to show me that I can do the same with H and that if I can do it for the person/ animal I love the most I surely can do it for H! I had to text something to H regarding our dog (his ashes) and I informed him about my dad. He replied but I'm not interested in reading his reply.
