I'll just give a quick update here and then take some time this evening to post more in detail... I have missed this forum and the reflective space it provides during this crazy journey.
ExW is still deep in replay and "happy" as far as I can tell. I don't live with her anymore so all I can observe now is the mask she wears in public. OW moved to this country last year and they got married right before Christmas. Didn't bother me as much as I thought it would -- possibly because 1. I know it is part of replay and 2. I continue to detach more and more as time goes on.
My job continues to go well and I am actively seeking promotion opportunities. Fingers crossed! I am also launching a new business on the side that will provide some additional income. I have managed to stay in good shape physically (staying healthy, working out), and several months ago my doc agreed to that it was time to get off of the AD and anti-anxiety meds... I still have one anti-anxiety med that I can take occasionally as needed and find that there are a few days per month where something will trigger some anxiety and I will use the med. I am also back in therapy though to continue with my process and to manage the lingering anxiety. I also continue to develop my relationship with God and am enjoying the peace that comes from an evolving spiritual journey.
The kids are now used to the living situation with their now "expanded" family. It still breaks my heart that this is the reality for them, but have used this past year to grow in my skills as a parent.
My exW and I get along very well. I haven't seen "monster" in months. However, very recently -- just last week -- she unfriended me and my family from Facebook. I have no clue why she did this. My initial reaction was one of anger quickly followed by grief (she does post pics of the kids and I will miss this), but I recovered quickly and realized that I didn't need to know why she chose to do this now after all of this time and especially since we all seem to be getting along so well. The reason why is anyone's guess since she is in MLC replay mode.
I have been dating someone for the past several months, but I don't expect it to last. Will go into greater detail later, but I am realizing that I need a lot more time on my own to sort through "me" and to continue my process/journey. I wasn't looking for anyone to start dating when this happened -- just reconnected with an old friend and one thing led to another. It was fun initially and certainly made me feel nice (wanted, appreciated, etc), but overall I don't think this is what I want or need right now.
I'll stop here for now... But will definitely work to expand on all of this later on this thread. There is a lot more to explain and to reflect on -- and all of it is relevant to the LBS journey.
Overall though -- I am doing well and moving forward on the path to healing and wholeness :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
