Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

Thanks, Gump. I know you struggle in your situation, and I appreciate you checking in on mine.

There's unfortunately no basis for being ecstatic or even mildly hopeful over there, though. Every day she just strengthens her resolve to blow our family up. It's like she's gaining momentum and not looking back.

I just found out she's been calling my best friend a lot -- over a multi-year peroid -- to help her "just to stay in the marriage". He's been a "gift" she says because he's apparently helped her enough that she wasn't forced to leave long ago,helped her figure out ways to deal with me, etc. I haven't talked to him yet but plan to today. Not sure what to say to someone who has kept this sort of secret relationship with my wife hidden for so long, didn't warn me that my marriage was in trouble, knows things about me and my marriage I wouldn't ever share with him . . . it makes my skin crawl.