Maybs - Pt3

[hawker]

Sounds like a great relaxing weekend!!!! No college football?? 😀

[Coly23]

Sounds like a lovely weekend, have a good one!

[PsySara]

Just caught up on your situation. Your WW really seems to not realize what a divorce means. It means you don't answer her on her time, or ever if you don't want to. It means no more help with structuring her life, budgeting or emotional support. She is coming across as an extremely co-dependent and immature person. She is doing a lot of classic cheater behavior though, rewriting marital history, making the BS a villain, idealizing the OW. I am not sure if this comforts you but she is following the cheaters book line by line and that means she eventually will be slapped in the face with reality. Whether or not this happens before or after the divorce is in her court. You keep doing your DBing and taking care of you!

[maybs]

Thanks for stopping by PsySara!

She has become very co-dependent and immature over the past few months, I feel like as our mediation date and D gets closer she relies on me more instead of less, and then continually gets frustrated when I don't give her the support she wants. I feel like she expects me to still be acting as her wife.

I don't know if that comforts me or not either.

Thanks for the support!

[maybs]

I had a wonderful weekend. In which I did absolutely nothing and it was glorious. As an introvert sometimes the best "GAL" I can give myself is the gift of doing nothing and I often focus so hard on getting out there and having fun that I forget I can have a world of fun cooped up by myself. I didn't see anyone all weekend with the exception of one person who came to sit on the couch with me, I didn't talk on the phone, I did text some friends and such but other than that I kept completely to myself.

Spent the entire day (and I do mean entire, from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed) yesterday reading and getting some puppy snuggling in, even with my friend there she did her thing and I did mine and it was just a comfortable relaxing silence, where you can just sit with someone and have them be there but not need to be talking or doing anything.

I feel so much more recharged and ready to take on anything. I really needed that time alone.

[hawker]

Sounds like a great day Maybs!!

[maybs]

Just journaling

It feels weird to keep being able to say nothing new. But there's been nothing new regarding my W or our R. I honestly haven't even been thinking about her much which is kind of nice.

Nosey co-worker has been starting some rumors about my best friend and I (mostly that we have been/are dating) and today she said something to my face about how she's "okay with the whole gay thing..If that's what you're into. but isn't xx a little old for you". So I said "who do you think you are that you have any say in who I do or do not date. You don't know me or xx and you certainly don't know what our relationship is so don't presume to know me or my life and please keep your nose out of it."

And then I just walked away. I told my friend about it and the part she was upset about was being called old... It would be a lie if I said this was the first time that someone has assumed we are dating and I'm sure it won't be the last. We aren't dating btw. She is just seriously my best friend and we are super weird and do almost everything together and we do argue like we are married almost everyday especially about who is cooking dinner and what it is...

I get it. I get why people assume that about us. But we are truly just friends and either way I did not appreciate this woman who barely knows me assuming anything about my life.

Leaving work a bit early today to see my IC, don't have any real plans except making dinner I love to cook.
parmesan crusted tilapia and teriyaki vegetables with brown rice! Super excited!

[maybs]

Just journaling -

Still nothing new, still haven't heard from W and that's fine by me.

Had a good session with IC last night, it was the first time we didn't focus mainly on my W and the stress surrounding that situation. The flip side of that is we talked about my family of origin...which basically ended up blowing my mind. I feel like so much stuff makes so much more sense now.

I got really lucky finding my IC she's amazing at her job, we got on really well, and I always leave there with something to think about and a better understanding of myself.

Then I went and bought 3 pairs of heels for like 20 bucks! Steal!

Dealing with work today...bleh so glad it's Friday tomorrow!

Sorry for all the boring info lately. There's just not much happening over here in maybs world.

[maybs]

Oh one thing my IC did ask me that I found interesting because I never had thought about it before.
She asked if I felt like I was content living without my W.
I immediately said "Yes and I think it would be weird if we had to live together again at this point"

I don't really know even what I mean by that. Do I mean I don't want to have to live with her ever again? Or do I just mean it would be awkward and uncomfortable while we got used to it again? I don't know. I'm trying to not overthink it because right now that's not on the horizon anyways.

[hawker]

It's ok if it's boring right now, it's better than drama!!! Ha. Well since you have been alone for a little while it would be weird at first if she did come back.