Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[SH_]

Okay,

I have to buckle down here.
I may have ADHD.
It's the whole "SQUIRREL!!" thing for me.

I am sitting down to do something that I read Vanilla does for this community.
She schedules out a way to help others, but not lose focus on her own needs.
One of those challenges I have for myself as I am discovering as well as it has been pointed out here by several of my DB friends.

I have received some wonderful benefits from helping many others here, but I am neglecting my own path and journey.
Balance.
I need balance.

I need to stop rambling.......Dam it....SQUIRREL!!!!!

So my point here is to say thank you to roist and Phoebe for you thoughts as it relates to the issue with D18 last week.

It turned out to be a great thing as she really buckled down and looked inside of herself and determined she was afraid of rejection. She pointed out some traumatic things that she felt created this for her.
Then she set a goal to go out and get rejected several times this week.
All part of the plan she is working with her IC.
Such a tough gal and a heck of an example to her dad.
roist and Phoebe are spot on and I thank you for your thoughts and supportive words for me.

Opening up and sharing your inner thoughts is one thing I have noticed help so many LBS advance on working on themselves. It is truly encouraging to read your openness and honest reflections. It is a brave thing to do (especially for an introvert!!!) But it is the best way to really dig deep and improve oneself.

Reading and learning self improvement stuff is great and the awareness/understanding gathered can put you on the right track. Digging deep is what fuels the journey and brings you to where you need to get too.

I do believe some people need to understanding fully the original underlying causes of their damaging behaviours before they can rectify them. I personally think some people are capable of doing so without such past based reflection. By this I mean it is possible to advance and work on behaviours/characteristics without over analysing the causes.

I read somewhere a technique that could help you. It is founded on the basis that the subconscious ALWAYS has your best intentions at heart.So you take a damaging behavior and ask yourself why you do that/for what purpose? Then you repeat the process for the answer you found. Ultimately you come to a core belief that was the cause and it is always to help you.

For example disconnecting in a group of people could be a self protection mechanism to prevent you being hurt. The intention is good but being disconnected in a group actually hurts you more. This helps figure out how to effectively work on inner beliefs and reprogram your subconscious in a more beneficial way.

I can understand your daughter's plight but I suspect she could be the cause of the disconnection subconsciously.I will not belittle her struggle by saying she just has to decide to stay connected. It is not quite that simple yet it can be. I have had many such moments since my situation started and it was always me turning internally and never the group shutting me out.

Thank you roist for this.
I have read it several times and I am just letting it sink in and marinating on it.

Rose, it is pleasure to have you drop by.

SH, your daughter is so lucky to have you.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when you help your daughter through this. I think I would learn some parenting tips I could use with my child with social anxiety. (I don't think he's an introvert, but maybe. Can you be a talkative introvert?)

Thank you. And I am lucky to have my daughter. She is such an example to me.
Let me know and we can chat and share the things I teach and learn from d18.
And yes, you absolutely can be a talkative introvert. There is some fascinating information out there as it relates to introverts. I wish I would have looked into more of it years ago, instead of accepting it as a curse.

Drop by more often as I would love to converse with you.

Mach,

Did I use ADHD as my issue at the beginning of my post here because of your post to me?
Hmmmm.......

Its funny actually....

I was talking to a poster here over the weekend ( who doesn't post much anymore), about Types of ADHD. I wanted to know more about it...

One thing that he said, was that he wasn't as concerned anymore about how to control his ADHD, as he was about how to use it to his advantage...

Yes, work with what we got and be the best with what we have.

Soon...is a relative statement...

The relative statement loop
"The statement "everything is relative" (EverythingIsRelative) is an absolute statement. If "everything is relative" is true then some things (at least that statement) aren't relative. If some things aren't relative, "everything is relative" is false."

Thank you Mach for guiding me.
I look forward to shaking your hand......

Lines....

"For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:"

My ADHD brain is over thinking your words for sure.
I hope I understood what you intended.......


Once again, long winded and all over the place.
Tomorrow the daily journaling begins.

I need to see my own picture, path and was forward.

"You can tell when something's not moving forward anymore. When the doubts you have about it don't go away." Jeffrey Eugenides

"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer." Denis Waitley