Ugh sorry to hear that hawker, you're right- we are human and we are processing an emotion. I think it's best to let them out and not bottle it all up. That is usually how I deal with things and it usually leads to a big breakdown down the line; so probably a healthy thing that I took the time to get it out.
And what seriously does a wayward want? They want out, don't want to be with us but yet they seem surprised that we have not built a shrine to them and sleep with an old shirt of theirs!!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Nope, unfortunately I don't have a special place in my room filled with pictures of him with candles around. And I'm not sleeping in a tee of his while hugging a pillow wishing it was him. I'm so sorry to have burst his ego here.
Honestly the sheer craziness
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Proud of you and all your growth Cherry! You inspire me and following your story helps to strengthen my DBing.
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
So I have a ? Even if they don't get out of the "fog" and go back to normal do they ever realize what they did was wrong or will they always be selfish and self absorbed? Like I'm sure they aren't that way with the AP are they??
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
I think they do know it's wrong and that seeing us be happy or sad makes them feel more shame. That's what WH tells me. That's also what the Lighthouse story says. My WH also knows he's self absorbed. The more awareness the better I suppose?
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
For some reason today, he seems to feel the need to check up on me. Perhaps it's guilt. He commented that I had took all pictures down of us, he seemed shocked with that. Lord knows why, I'm not even gonna try and figure that out. He told me how he is moving, and how once the L has drawn up the petition to look over it together. Tbh I don't want to be a part of this, they can send it to my L to deal with. He says how he wants to be on good terms and be a friend of mine, but right now he is worried that I would take it the wrong way. He told me to never say never to us ever being together in the future. I don't want to focus on that, but it doesn't sound like someone confident in their decision. He told me when and where he is going to be moving to. I tried again to validate and listen and not spew or get angry, and the tears where minimal, I pulled myself together.
I have had today to have my tears, they've flowed. And he has moved from complete dishonesty and flat out ignoring me to approaching me and partial honesty.
Today I feel I let go of hope and accepted, my family who didn't know, now do. And I have got in loud and clear that he is done and that m with wh is dead and gone. So after today, and the tears- tomorrow is a new day. And it will be time to stand up, dust myself down and straighten my crown. And just show him what an absolute fool he is to loose a diamond like me. In our lifestyle, and our community of liars and double crossers, he had a true ride or die chica like me. He won't get that again. He's lost the best damn loyal person to ever walk in his life. More fool him.
He probably isn't confident in his decision, but doubt doesn't mean he won't proceed. He's like a kid going downhill on a sled - not sure it's safe, but he's on a roll and doesn't know how to stop. His brain is not being run by the frontal cortex right now, he's flooded by powerful chemicals. He really isn't in his right mind. http://brainworldmagazine.com/the-neuroscience-of-infidelity-flame-addiction/
Remember: Believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do.
I don't want to take your hope away from you, but WH said until the day I left that 'I haven't stopped trying'. At that time, he and OW had planned her move into our home for weeks.
He also said things like 'maybe we can remarry again later' and that he could move here if I got a good job.
It's obvious now that this was all nonsense, things he said to maybe comfort himself and try to feel less guilty about what he was doing.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
