But when I suffer because the pure, unconditional, and all powerful love that we all crave doesn't exist in this world, rather than self-medicate by assuring myself that I will get it if I just keep reading self-help books, I'd rather just have a moment of silence for the pain and suffering that it is to be human, grow where I can but not obsessively, then do my best to enjoy what I have in my life. I'm sure there will be some good times ahead, it doesn't have to be a fairy book to be a fun and meaningful journey.
This may be my future, I can't say that I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't find love again somehow - but if this is my future then so be it. I'm at the point now when I'm questioning whether the concept of 'perfect love' as the end all be all of human experience is actually antithetical to living authentically.
You said it better than I did. I think the world isn't about pursuing individual happiness, it's about serving. Serving our lord, our partners, our families, our communities. And through that part of being human is suffering. Now, in the middle of that we will find acceptance and some times of beauty and joy. But we don't get beauty and joy by abandoning our charge and going out and looking for it. It comes when we let go and appreciate the opportunity to serve that we've been given.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
