I agree with this, we'd see a lot less people wanting the ring, the wedding, the perfect house, the kids - and rushing off to get married without really thinking things through and doing some serious soul searching. I certainly lived this - me and my wife went from dating, to living together, to getting pregnant, then married in less than a year. It was beautiful at the time, but I wish we would have had an opportunity to get to know each other a little more first.
I also now understand my friends who wanted to live together but not get married. Me and my wife used to wonder why they didn't get married. Now I'm realizing their lifestyle choice was perfectly valid.
I was with you until this, but I dunno qt, this assumes that staying happily married is a matter of finding someone 'compatible'.
I don't believe in compatible. Oh, I get it. There has to be some basis, like you both speak the same language, either want kids or no kids, religion, what country to live in, etc. I mean, you can maybe even get around one of these, MWD says that all long term marriages have 3-5 unresolveable issues that people just have to accept and let go of, daily.
They say people that cohabit prior to marriage divorce at a higher rate. Maybe that's because they are the picker group with higher expectations and standards?
My point is beyond that I think it's the idea that we need to find the right partner that is the problem. In general I think it's more about what we do with the partner we have. And I don't mean changing them or controlling them. I mean accepting the loss and reality that they don't give us everything we want or aren't exactly the way we'd choose them to be, but then learning to appreciate what they DO bring and choosing to do our best to honor and love them anyway, through better and worse.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
