Divorce. Thanks Obama

[qt4x11]

I just don't buy it. I personally think there is plenty of growth that could be achieved within the original marriage- GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY AND TIME. And that in most cases if you checked back on a miserable marriage 5-10 years down the road, they would've grown a lot and many of those partnerships would've found peace, acceptance, and even joy in many cases...as much as is possible in a real marriage, not a series of 5 year flings that die off once the endorphins are gone and the honeymoon stage ends.

Case in point my parents. When I was 9 I remember my mom throwing vases at my dad's head and my dad sleeping in the other room. Somehow they worked it out and they were happily married for 40 years, until my dad died in 2009. When my dad died, I felt like my mom lost her other half and was inconsolable for a long time.

They simply came from the old school where D was simply not an option. Nowadays everyone is quick to pull the trigger and this type of situation is becoming rarer and rarer. That may be a good thing, certainly it is for cases of affairs and abusive marriages. But the general societal attitudes are impatient for the quick fix, and perfectly good marriages that could have been saved are cast aside because one side was 'feeling bored' or 'wanted to find themself'.

So I believe that the narrative that says you go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, feel trapped, divorce, grow and change, find your independence and bud into the person you want to be, then find a new enlightened partner where you can rejoice in new-age happiness and wisdom for the rest of your days...I believe that narrative is destructive and misleading to many, many people. That is why I speak out against it. The grass is greener where you water it.

I agree with this, we'd see a lot less people wanting the ring, the wedding, the perfect house, the kids - and rushing off to get married without really thinking things through and doing some serious soul searching. I certainly lived this - me and my wife went from dating, to living together, to getting pregnant, then married in less than a year. It was beautiful at the time, but I wish we would have had an opportunity to get to know each other a little more first.

I also now understand my friends who wanted to live together but not get married. Me and my wife used to wonder why they didn't get married. Now I'm realizing their lifestyle choice was perfectly valid.