Divorce. Thanks Obama

[Zues126]

Yeah, it was a rough sketch. Clearly some haven't been married, and maybe there are some princes and princesses out there 'unclaimed'.

The general idea is that while it might work out for a small percentage at an individual level, it is a losing strategy at a macro level. It's essentially a zero sum game (same cards being re-dealt) with a cost to play (broken homes each trial). So from a game theory stand point divorce is a losing play.

Now...you could debate this and say that divorce forces people to learn, grow, and become better people, to 'step up' knowing if they don't they will be abandoned and devastated. Going down that road you could say it isn't a zero sum game, that divorce is a positive because it is the only way to get our population to make the changes necessary to be qualified life partners. In fact, because we don't have a choice about divorce as LBS's this is the stance that many people subscribe to, simply because they want to be 'positive' and 'empowered'. Also, I believe that people want to feel their loss had 'meaning', and they want to believe they have grown so they can re-marry with the hope they will find their happiness next time around.

I just don't buy it. I personally think there is plenty of growth that could be achieved within the original marriage- GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY AND TIME. And that in most cases if you checked back on a miserable marriage 5-10 years down the road, they would've grown a lot and many of those partnerships would've found peace, acceptance, and even joy in many cases...as much as is possible in a real marriage, not a series of 5 year flings that die off once the endorphins are gone and the honeymoon stage ends.

So I believe that the narrative that says you go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, feel trapped, divorce, grow and change, find your independence and bud into the person you want to be, then find a new enlightened partner where you can rejoice in new-age happiness and wisdom for the rest of your days...I believe that narrative is destructive and misleading to many, many people. That is why I speak out against it. The grass is greener where you water it.