As you can guess this is the point that a chill runs down my spine.
The last time I tried this with my H, he looked wearily at me and said, "We aren't going to have another one of those talks, are we?" I suppose every H hates to hear the W say, "We need to talk".
Everything your W said could have come straight out of the wayward wife textbook. In other words, it means that those same statements are so commonly said by WW's that it seems as if they read from the same script. It's b.s. for the truth behind why she wants her freedom. So, although it's serious......don't buy her b.s. excuses.
As for you not understanding feeling/being in love is different than just loving someone, it's about emotions and how that person makes you feel. It is a special "love", different than what you have for your relatives or friends. Surely, you felt something special when you were first dating your W. Women like those feelings......a lot! What some couples don't seem to realize is that it takes hard work to keep those "in love" emotions alive.
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The next day i gave her compliments, tried to do everything around the house, didn't say I loved her, because I was confused about her definitions of love.
You may show your love by doing acts of service and maybe words of affirmation. If that isn't her love language, then she probably won't respond (especially if she is wayward). If she's wayward, she won't respond to any of those types of action.
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By the end of the day she wanted a footrubb. Glorious, I thought, we're meeting halfway.
You may be in for a rude awakening. She wasn't meeting you in any kind of way by allowing you to touch her feet. She was selfishly using you. Might as well been working in a saloon giving her a pedicure. If she is a WW, you could kill yourself doing all the housework, cooking, catering to her needs, etc., .......and it won't fix the problem. This is completely different from anything you've faced.
Don't know your ages, but I won't be surprised if she isn't into playing a lot of games of manipulation. Throwing out a hook every so often, just to keep you in place.
Instead of you acting as if you are her unpaid employee, consider how you might draw her attraction in some of the same ways you did before M and kids. Let me give a hint, if she's wayward.....you won't attract her by chasing her. You won't do it by "fighting for the M".....at least, not in the way most people think it's done. Stick around and learn more.
Tell us more about your marital history. What are ages? Any previous inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
