MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[Surfer]

ROE

Hope you are keeping focus. Your focus needs to be TOTALLY off her. TOTALLY - focus on the kids, GAL, gym, anything that makes you happy (it takes time - keep that focus). Just not her - no focusing on her!

She is a WW. She deserves nothing from you. Forget talking to her. Look right through her but be decent. Stay away from any conflict. She will only use what you say against you to create rewritten history.

I have lived some of your story. Not all of it. But I can truly say living with a WW is hard. But it gets better - you will find peace and happiness. I promise. I have.

The OM sitch was not so visible to me, as it is to you, but in some ways that's worse. Not knowing. At least you broadly know what is happening. Try to take a pyrrhic victory in that if you can - cr@p though it is.

Look mate it's this simple. You would not choose the attributes your Mrs is showing (a liar, manipulator, unfaithful, resentful etc - it's a massive list; write it down). So stop wanting her and kick her to the side. His is your WW. You do not want her back and get rid (emotionally and permanently). Drop her like a 2 ton bag of hot sh!t in the dessert. You don't want to carry that. No. The W, yes, that lovely person. You'll have her back at the drop of a hat and quite rightly. I hope she sees sense and returns (we all want this) - but if she doesn't, don't settle for the WW. She's not good enough for you. I don't care if she can suck a golf ball through 50 yards of hospipe in under 30 seconds. Bin her off in your mind. She can jog on!

How do you do this? Detach. GAL have fun with the kids, do stuff you like and pay her no heed! Zero. Be decent, not unkind, don't argue. Just be like 'the dogs' when it comes to being you, Dad, a kind, decent and lovable man. The stuff you normally do!

Enough said!

Surfer.