Trying to detach - part deux

[Coly23]

Doodler, Gump - in my husbands case I think it's because before me he didn't have a long term relationship so he didn't know what to benchmark our relationship against. Coupled with poor communication this was obviously a recipe for disaster waiting to happen!

SH - again your words make me sit up and think (are you a teacher because I always feel I have to be on my best behaviour when reading your posts!).

I just watched the Guy Winch Ted talk about Emotional First Aid. It frightened me a bit about the number of physical issues caused when you don't look after your emotional health especially when I have my D to look after. I took on board the two minute distraction every time I start to ruminate and I recognise this is something that I have always been prone to. Playing things in my mind over and over again and finding it hard to let go.

Today I plucked up the courage to call our EAP helpline which we have through work and broke down but it was good to talk to someone who isn't close to me. They are going to arrange for 8 free counselling sessions starting next week.

I think what is paralysing me, and I agree I am paralysed, is accepting that my marriage is over. I came to this website like everyone else looking for hope to restore my marriage but it seems to be slipping further and further away from me.

So my question is do I need to let go of the hope in order to release myself from this paralysis...?