Maybe there's such a thing as love - but the 'happily ever after' love we're sold on since we are kids, that just does not exist, it is a fairy tale. For sure marriage as an institution is a joke, it is a sham kept alive by the government, by religion, by jewelers and greeting card companies, what have you. It is a society sanctioned way to promote having babies and buying into lifestyle of being an obedient tax payer.
What about the vows we took? The vows were for when we had problems like this, so we would have to work out our problems and stay together. But when the going gets tough she is just out the door without even going to counseling, and I'm slapped with divorce papers and her lawyers are coming for half my money. I guess everything was just a joke to her. And it is so easy for her to make all these profound life changing decisions not just for herself, but for me, and for our two kids.
I disagree that the "happily ever after" love doesnt exist. It just takes a lot more continued work than any of us ever imagined.
I was married in my early 20s. I pictured that I was set for life with my partner. As long as I didnt do "the unmentionable" things, then we'd figure out a way. But the thing was that our definition of what was unacceptable in a marriage was different. I wasnt a drunk, I wasnt abusive, I was always employed, I never cheated, etc. But I wasnt as supportive as I should have been. I wasnt as present of a parent as I should have been. I didnt make my love for my ex clear. And, so, the rug got pulled out from under me.
With all of that, I dont think it was the "marriage" that was a sham. I dont think that because that marriage failed, I should never get married. I can think of many benefits that I had because of being married. The problem wasnt with society, it was with me...I didnt know HOW TO BE MARRIED. Yes, if it were more difficult to be divorced, I would probably still be married now. But I live in a no-fault state. Always have. So, if my ex woke up one day and didnt want to be married, there wasnt anything I could really do about it. I made the choice every day to remain married, but one day my ex didnt. Sure, there were factors out of my control, but I didnt do what I needed to in order to ensure that both of us were continuing to wake up every day choosing to maintain the marriage.
