Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

Your second paragraph could have been written by my IC. That's been her point all along: that nothing I do to myself, for myself, for her, for the marriage, 180s, GAL -- none of it matters if my W is going to continue to run from what she's running from. She'll always of necessity scapegoat and find wanting her important relationships for not being transformative and the cure for her unhappiness.

That's why I was so excited to hear she was going to see her own MC. I thought, hmmm -- maybe she starts doing the work I started doing 2+ years ago, and we see what happens. Then I find out that what she's really done is hire a divorce coach. So just more artificial validation that pushes off into the distance the real work she needs to do to be a happy person.