Yeah, I've been through this a time or two... I kinda know the ropes (see my thread from last year - "Send in the clowns"). It's a REALLY hard balancing act... to remain open (and therefore vulnerable) so as to be ready and able to act and re-act lovingly, but at the same time to remain aware that the winds do blow from different directions sometimes... (sigh)
Oh yes Steve it is SO hard. I agree. It really takes a conscious effort on my part to keep my heart open to H and our marriage. I have even gotten to the point now where I am trying to anticipate his reactions and how I will react to them. (For example, if I go to kiss him on the cheek and he pulls away - which he usually does - instead of feeling rejected and saying something snotty I will just take a deep breath and tell him I love him.)
(Sigh.)
You know the worst thing about being HD and ML with your LD spouse? It makes you miss ML even more, but you feel like you can't reach out to them again for [insert set amount of time here] or they will accuse you of being a sex maniac.
Quote: It makes you miss ML even more, but you feel like you can't reach out to them again for [insert set amount of time here] or they will accuse you of being a sex maniac.
Ouch. I do that. Wish I could say I don't, but I do.
On behalf of all us LDers in the world, I'm sorry for that. Hey, Tim buddy, I hope I didn't bring you down because I love for you to be happy... just be happy because you are a great guy and DESERVE to be happy, not for any other reason than that. My point was to guard it carefully, you know?
Quote: ...I hope I didn't bring you down because I love for you to be happy...
Naw, Corri, it's cool. I'm still happy, don't worry, you didn't burst my bubble. I'm a big boy...
I think last night will stay with me for a while, and guard me from getting down. I think W will be too busy this week to even say anything that could burst it. So I'll just keep it in my heart and stay happy for a while. It might even just "make" my Lent and save my Easter! I've written W a nice little love note, which I'll leave on her pillow tomorrow morning before leaving for work, so she'll find it later in the day...
Quote: Ouch. I do that. Wish I could say I don't, but I do.
I would guess that most LD'ers do that to some extent. Already my H is using Saturday as his "benchmark date" for whenever I say anything the slightest bit negative. Today I was paying bills and he was shocked at how high the Amex bill was, and I (totally non-snotty) said, "Remember those car parts you bought on eBay last month?" and he immediately said how I didn't have any right to complain about car parts because I had gotten what I wanted on Saturday.
You know, he used to accuse me of jotting down the dates we had sex so that I could use them against him (which I never did!), but I think he is the one doing the jotting.
Quote: Good news: The AstroGlide arrived!!! Yay... no more K-Y!!!
When I first got home, W had to go out, so I got a few minutes alone with the AG. I took off the seal, and put a bit of it on my fingers. WOW!! I can HARDLY wait to TRY some of this stuff for REAL!! It's JUST like HER! At least, as far as feel... I didn't get up the nerve to taste it...
Quote: ...but I think he is the one doing the jotting...
Quote: Good news: The AstroGlide arrived!!! Yay... no more K-Y!!!
Maybe I'm just too young, but I've never needed or understood the need for the stuff. Then again it's been a year since my WAW and I ML. But back in the day the machinery was always naturally well oiled.
Of course...I'm know that some kind of lubricant is recommended if you're exploring some other...ahem...inputs.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
Quote: Maybe I'm just too young...(snip)... But back in the day the machinery was always naturally well oiled.
Yes, DBR, you are too young. Wait till you ML with a post-menopausal woman. Especially one who hasn't ML more than a half-dozen times a year for 5 or 10 years. Machinery dries out after a while, if it isn't maintained.
Quote: Of course...I'm know that some kind of lubricant is recommended if you're exploring some other...ahem...inputs.
Wow, Tim, you are really making me dread menopause. I've never had an issue in that area, either, but I have friends who couldn't even ML without KY (or Astroglide) nearby. I know my day will probably come, too.
Keep the faith, HH. Don't forget... W has mostly "not used it" for years. Use it or lose it... that seems pretty clear, and it's true. However, I have read of a study which found that women who masturbated on a daily basis kept their lubrication and elasticity well into their 60's (maybe even 70's - I can't remember). Anyway, the best way to make sure things continue to work is to USE 'EM!!!
