Chapter 4 - Acting As If

[bigybiz]

SH:

Thanks for your post. The status quo is in place. I'm looking forward to school starting and getting some normal going.

I've been doing OK at detaching. As you know both W and I are good at not talking to each other. When she comes to see S10 we hardly speak.

Lately I've been focusing on moving us forward by me doing all the normal back to school stuff. Also, bigger ticket stuff too i.e. S15's new computer, upcoming birthday party and restarting family therapy sessions for the boys and I - D20 is welcome to come too.

Yesterday, she finally broke the silence. She wanted to revisit a decision that was made two months ago. I told her that now was not the time to do it and asked her to recommend a date and time that works. Well that went well - Then came the strike out. She wanted to put some treats she made in our fridge. Instead of being honest and saying I did not want her food, I'm in charge of the meals her. I chickened out. I said, we have enough food right now. She got upset.

It diluted into a conversation about when I need to talk about something she was unavailable and when she wanted to it was important.

We then went round and round about all the minor issues that I've been waiting for her to get back to me on i.e. car ownership, etc.

As I said earlier, for weeks we've not really spoken and I've just been making all the decisions for the boys without her.

The conversation then descended into some borderline relationship talk. Well we called it quits and I asked her to recommended she get back to me with a time and an agenda.

So, I'm dusting myself off and hoping to get back on my horse of keeping a safe distance and demonstrating that I'm going on without her.

Also, I'm looking for a quote about "not giving your spouse permission to date". Does anyone know where that is? I've seen it once before - but, I can't find it.