It went well. Avoided Weekend talk. D did mention her and W went to the halloween store I had asked D to wait and we could all go. Didn't happen...I keep thinking, W has to feel the loss, how in the heck is that going to happen? I feel the loss, I feel the loss every day!!!! That was just a minor example. anyway, I waited for her soccer to be over W texted asking If she could go grocery shopping for dinner instead of coming to practice / picking up D. I said yes. with hope's that whole making dinner text meant I would get invited. Then W texted again asking about ingredients to one of my favorite chicken salad meals. (my families recipe) Thought for sure W is going to invite me for dinner. Got home, asked D to bring up her homework. W was in kitchen making dinner. D is in 5th grade. They are doing reviews of last year and they have a sheet with either multiplication or division and the parent is to set a timer and just ask them the facts. D is behind, in my opinion. I was extremely frustrated. I would ask her a multiplication or division problem and she counts on her fingers...this is review. multiplication was for sure on last years homework why are we taking 30plus seconds to answer 3*6? I don't get it. At one point D said "well I don't know this" in a whinny a$$ voice (that she NEVER uses with me) and I said "i don't know what to tell you because it's on your homework and I don't know why the teacher would put it on here..." W finally interjected. thank god, because I was close losing my [censored]. (the old me would've been pissed and not let W handle it, Proud moment, I smiled, but had my back to w so she didn't notice) don't remember what she said but we moved on and she finally answered the problem correctly. Still, no dinner invite. I cleaned the litter, (had not been cleaned since I last did it, even though W said she'd been on it..psh) I said bye to D told her to enjoy whatever she was having for dinner, D said she's having pizza...again frustrated that I always fed her crap and W didn't want that. (that kid eats more crap now than ever, I at least cooked, W does not want to cook everyday) I just played it off, and waved from the door to W, said bye and left. Dinner invite never came. I was slightly frustrated but glad to get out of there. about 30 min later i get a text. W- everything ok? I waited till late at night cus I was busy!!!! (was not but she doesn't need to know that) Me- yes why? 5am this morning w replied with W- just wondering. the food (my dish) is in the fridge if you want to feed D. I should be home around 5.30. please text me when you pick her up.
again with dinner and dish...(W knows I do not feed D until I bring her home for dinner which is at 6pm) My friend thinks w wanted me to ask to stay for dinner yesterday or assume or something. I thought W asked me to move out, so if she wants me to stay for dinner she needs to ask. I am not a mind reader.
The "everything ok" text -total temp check. It does make me feel good that W sat and thought about me / our lack of interaction. So much that she thought to text me and that something was wrong. I pick D up today, going to go get our pottery we painted on friday. then the park for pokemon hunting then home for homework and then dinner. W will be home by the time we come home, hoping to have a similar interaction, as I feel way better when we do not interact much (feels weird / sad typing that) Interacting with her and hugging is no good for me. gets my emotions in a bunch. good busy day so far. nice weather.
