ROE, I'm thinking about you and your situation today, man. It's really tough, what you're going through. Tough.
Can't recall your general line of work, but if you have health insurance, it's really worth a call to them to find out what benefit you have for psychological counseling. Many general health insurance policies include counseling. It's just good to have a real live human being to talk to about everything you can't talk about with others.
For what it's worth, take some pride in knowing you tried your best to do the right thing. Meanwhile, you W and the OM -- they're doing some really destructive, hurtful stuff. They won't just walk away from that unscathed. That kind of character -- or the lack of -- will haunt them for the rest of their lives. At the very least your kids know you did the right thing, if not now, they'll know when they're older.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final