Painter, you hit the nail on the head, he is admittedly afraid of being alone and admittedly needy. Thanks for the helpful real estate advice. I'm very confused as to what to do, because my numbers aren't looking as I hoped. First, my dad pushed me not to go beyond a certain amount, now he is saying I need to do it because of tax credits and my ability to take more take home pay. I'm honestly confused and need to marinate on it. The good news is I am preapproved even with my not stellar credit score because I make a decent salary and have 401k and IRA.
Linda, I was told my dress made an impact, lol. Apparently I looked amazing. hehe.
I texted him last night. I guess it's sort of the backslide I made through this whole thing. I texted him a happy birthday and I told him I hope his age treats him well. He said "thanks!, we'll see with an emoji. I then texted that it was great seeing his daughter and not a day goes by I don't think about her. Please give her a hug for me every now and then." I said it was good to catch up the little we did and I left some things unsaid because I got the feeling that's how they belong. he said he really did want to talk more, but he can't couldn't drive the car he was driving in the dark, so he had to get home. I said enjoy your festivities and he made sure to tell me he was only having alone time and going to bed early on his birthday. I ended it with a goodnight.
Probably shouldn't have, I know. I get my one backslide pass, right? I mean from the ones I used to make with my ex every five minutes, one in 6 months isn't so bad.
I'm feeling overall better today. Not quite as sad.
Thanks Sunny, I am typically a landslider. Trust me, there is so much more I wanted to say. But what's the point?
Some times I think I am stupid by being nice. I should be an arse. He never wished me a happy birthday, or did anything in kind or thoughtful, but I just decided not to be tit for tat.
Painter, you hit the nail on the head, he is admittedly afraid of being alone and admittedly needy. Thanks for the helpful real estate advice. I'm very confused as to what to do, because my numbers aren't looking as I hoped. First, my dad pushed me not to go beyond a certain amount, now he is saying I need to do it because of tax credits and my ability to take more take home pay. I'm honestly confused and need to marinate on it. The good news is I am preapproved even with my not stellar credit score because I make a decent salary and have 401k and IRA.
It's the same with WH. He made sure to replace me before he took the risk of breaking up.
When you have a mortgage, your get a tax deduction for the interest you pay (could be up to a certain amount). A banker or an accountant will be able to do the math for you and show you how much that tax deduction will lower your withholdings and increase your take home pay. If you hit the right bracket, it could be very beneficial and offset your mortgage payments quite a bit.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Bad night. I'm just pretty down. The tears are back and I hate that.
my ex sip has been watching my D for the past few days and we talk when I pick up and drop off. My D is a super picky eater and she called my ex to ask if she would eat French toast sticks and a hashbrown. His answer " I dunno". Really? You don't know the only potato your daughter will put anywhere near her mouth?!? Sounds incredibly petty, I know. But really, he doesn't know her. Tomorrow is her first day of 4th grade. You would think he would call her? Nah.
Her and I had a whole conversation about moving. She all of a sudden wanted to move to Tampa ( she loved it there when we went on vacation in February) the saddest thing was not seeing my her BFF or my BFF. Her dad didn't even cross her mind.
He is so miles away mentally. I know I have it a lot better than others. But it's sad.
And I won't get started on my emotional fit I'm having in my head about ex NG. It's crazy unhealthy, but it's there.
I just remember how great, hopeful and excited I was feeling this time last year. Now, not so much.
Ginger, It's okay to be cranky and cry about such things. This is not only your child, but his and to not know what she will eat or won't eat is inexcusable. He doesn't realize what a gift your daughter is and just how much she loves her father, faults and all. One day, when she's grown and on her own, he's going to look back and realize what he missed and it will be too late.
Well, I'm glad he finally picked up the phone and called. You are a very classy lady to send pics to him and his family. I hope your little one enjoys her first day of school. She's growing up quickly and enjoy every moment of that time w/her.
Try to enjoy the rest of your day. Your xh isn't worth another thought.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Some times I think I am stupid by being nice. I should be an arse. He never wished me a happy birthday, or did anything in kind or thoughtful, but I just decided not to be tit for tat.
I'm definitely on an emotional setback right now.
Nah, you're not being stupid by being nice. You're just a genuinely nice person and don't seem to be able to retaliate and act nasty or rude when people are nasty or rude to you. I dunno but THINK it's because you believe in your heart that people will treat you the way you treat them. I truly believe that we should all treat people the way we would like to be treated, but have sort of given up on them treating me that way too. No expectations LOL
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Thank you my lovely friends. I'm a bit of a mess in my heart right now. Wouldn't know it outwardly, but yeah, I'm questioning so much right now.
My ex is coming to D's game tonight and my dad and stepmom which is always an uncomfortable sitch. Good news is that after we are going to look at condos and go out for D's bday.
Linda, I think I do think I'll get back what I give sometimes. But it's not completely why I do it. Sometimes from ex Ng I think I'll get a glimpse of the guy I met a year ago. He gave me a small hint before he left that night. Truth I believe is he is resisting me as hard as he can ( I'm not pursing though) and trying to embrace the other one. That's his path. My heart and head have an awful time reconciling it. What's happened happened and no matter how much I hope and wish, I can't change a situation that is into what I want it to be.
