Funny JR, to read about your W calling. What little concern I get from my W, I wonder if it's genuine or just out of guilt and/or the need to be perceived as a decent person by others. I think my W would be relieved if I perished in some outdoor misadventure.

I think about your situation a lot, and I flip flop on how I feel about it. How *I* would feel about it if I were in your shoes. I'll say one thing though -- as much as you're tormented by your W's behavior, I bet she's created a personal purgatory for herself. Maybe an obvious point, but easy to forget, I think, that she's feeling really troubled and confused. Not exactly actionable intel there, but reminding yourself of that might help you shift to a different emotional footing on your situation.

The longer my in-house separation goes on, the more distant I feel about her. The heart strings are still there, though.

Maybe this is just the human condition: the euphoria of marriage lasts 1-3 years, then the rest depends on the character of the two people in the marriage. Some people are able to make happiness, make fulfillment, make love; while others just don't have that in them, for whatever reasons, and endure for 5, 10, 15 or 20 years, then reach the end of their rope. They get a divorce, and repeat the cycle until they're too old.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final