They don't necessarily take things that remind them of yesteryear. They take things that have some meaning to them. It could be the dishes, it could be a certain set of sheets, coffee cups, etc. The dishes are something she would need in her place, i.e., therefore, she wouldn't have to purchase any.
My xh took a dozen towels, washcloths, chicken in the freezer (that I had just purchased the day before myself), as well as carrots, a bag of potatoes, onions, 15 notepads, a bunch of pens and pencils and the list goes on. When he continued to say he needed some personal items from the home, I agreed to allow him one visit, since I ensured that he took all of his personal items. When he came, he was escorted by 2 deputies because he feared for his life...now he's a big man and I'm no where near as strong as he is, but I was lucky because I new the deputies. So, when I knew he was coming, I piled up in a guest bedroom everything that I could think of that he would want and the only things that he actually wanted was my set of keys to his Blazer, his baby photos and yes, 1 old plastic Easter Egg that was worth a couple of bucks that his mother gave to me. Yep, that's right. He made mention several times that he would have to go back to his place and come up w/another list of personal items and provide it to the lawyers...didn't happen because I had a copy of the report from the police and he got nothing more. Had I been him, I would have taken all of my tools and things such as that, but I have them and use them now. Oh, one more thing, he complained about missing mail...but what do you expect when you have 5 mailing addresses? The missing mail? It was the Pennysaver, i.e., junk mail.
To make a long story short, have your w make a list of what she wants and have it ready for when she comes over. Make sure to take photos of the items, as well as keep a copy of the list. At some point, you'll need to nip the "I would this or that" in the bud because they keep on taking if you allow it.
There was a poster here many years ago and when her husband left, it took the steps to the shed. Yes, that's right. Another poster's h took the little chair to her son's desk that only a a child could sit in. Yes, that's right.
So, you see, they all take things and what they take doesn't necessarily have to mean something to them. Whatever catches their eye at that moment is generally what they take. What they are doing isn't meant to incite a reaction out of you because in some cases it's a spur of the moment action. I suggest that if you have something that you value, that you tuck it away somewhere safe and out of sight until she's done her walk thru.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
