Hey cherry, you are a ball of hormones, so thats okay to be emotional. Just identify where it's coming from. Just don't let it be him.

You need to accept your fate really; you're showing that you're "fighting" for him which is why he says that he does not want to give you hope. Stop fighting, let him walk, be the lighthouse and hope that he follows.

Also, you know that you have no control over him and his actions, so why put a no-GF for 2 years clause in the D papers. You cannot control or predict the future.

Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.