Cherry. H is filing and leaving. Working on me

[Cherry]

Thanks ddj for your kind words, and thanks surfer with coming through as a voice of calm and the advise.

I was trying to get ready for work when he came for his chat. I tried to keep calm and validate his feelings as he went on to tell me his story. How's there is nothing going on with ow, she is a friend. I had the usual, look me in the eye- trust me. He told me that he does meet up with girls "but not like that, I just find them more comforting". He told me what he had filed, and the reasons, again I don't agree to them, and I feel he has used our conversation where I validated his feelings against me. He said how some of the wording sounds harsh so he wants it taken out. I told him I wanted a clause to protect the children from possible partners for a year or two. He did not like that, he said he doesn't know what may happen in that time and he would want to share the children with any future partner. I explained to him, that this would be from BOTH of us, to protect them, and it's not about is, this is about them and their feelings. I explained to him that he doesn't even treat me as a friend, he says this is because he doesn't want to get close to me and give false hope. Or that he cannot see me partly dressed, as it "doesn't dhow respect to me". My emotions did get the best of me, maybe it's hurt from grieving, or maybe it's because I'm a giant ball of hormones.

I feel a bit let down in myself that I let him see me upset, I feel like it has undone my efforts to appear I'm getting along with things. It seems pretty much there, that this relationship is dead with no hope whatsoever of reconciliation. It's clear what he wants, and the first part of the d is done, I just need to wait for the papers. I'm just hurting all over with this. Everything is very much just as he wants, and he has absolute control over everything d related. I know the one thing he doesn't have control over is me and my behaviour. But I just feel I've let myself down by getting upset, I've kind of given him some control over me.