ROE-- I don't know how you do it. I don't actually witness my wife spending time with OM. If I had to do that -- it would just be over for me. Time to file. I know I don't have what it takes to endure it.
You have to decide whether holding on is worth whatever benefits you see. You have to also consider what you want to communicate to your kids. Are you setting a good example.
I wish I can say something encouraging for you. I'm just not feeling encouraged for any of us in this forum, due to my own problems.
What do your professional counselors say? Hang in there? Or divorce and move on?
My heart goes out to you.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final