Confused on What to Do

[Eagle11]

CT118, thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate the support.

Pretty normal. I have had the exact same experience with my W. When reading about this behavior in various places, I found that expectations on many things were/are set very high by an MLC M or F. Comes from thinking that they should be 'further' than they are right now and a close death often triggers and/or contributes. Now that is what I've read, perhaps someone here who has been MLC could elaborate better than I.

My W has always been in impatient and impulsive woman. That's just the way she is and has always been. She will be the first to admit it. I know she says this is the biggest complaint she gets at work is her impatience. Unfortunately, this impatience makes the sitch we are in so much worse. She wants results now in both her mental issues and with our marriage. I think that is one of the reasons she wanted a divorce right away. Nothing was getting fixed and she thinks that by ending our M then everything will be better. I've talked to her and I really feel she is willing to at least wait a while before moving forward. I know she is torn on what to do now. It sort of changes day to day. Sometimes she will ask me questions that make me believe she is thinking about trying to work things out, but then the next day she is back to just ending everything. The crazy thing is that nothing has changed between those days, she just goes back and forth all the time.

I am also married to a very attractive female who is highly successful in corporate America. She had an very, very similar conversation with me as to what you stated above. Why do men not know she is M? Because she doesn't tell them she is - or - because she tells them she is and then tells them about the problems (which will be exaggerated) and that is an open back door for dudes of low quality.

Well, I maybe a little responsible with men flirting with her. I have mentioned in the past posts that she had an EA that turned into a kiss back in 2009. In I believe 2011 she was on a work trip with 3 others and lost her wedding ring at a restaurant. This made no sense to me but apparently she would take off her ring and play with it (spin in on the table like you would a quarter). I guess she forgot about it and they left the restaurant. When she realized she lost it she went back to search but they never found it. She told me this story and I didn't believe her, especially after what had happened a couple of years earlier. I did not tell her I didn't believe her and we never talked about it, but I never bought her a replacement and over time it was kind of forgotten. She brought it up the other night that she couldn't believe I wouldn't buy her a new ring and I finally told her that I didn't think she was truthful with her story about how it was lost. She assured me it was true and invited me to call the people she was with on the trip who helped her look. I told her she probably was telling the truth but from my perspective it all didn't add up at the time.

Anyway, she doesn't wear a wedding ring so guys think she is single. She told me she used to them when they would flirt with her but now she often doesn't and flirts back. She told me she gets asked out all the time but she has never gone out with any of them.

Nice update man. Pulling for you. Really happy about the good weekend correlation with the sons. I know you take care of them, I wonder if this experience put what they do for you into a whole new light, or did you already get that? For me, I didn't get what he did for me until all of this - one of my biggest gifts, my son is a true champion for me.

I will say this experience has definitely made me appreciate my boys more. I have always been close to both of them but now I've realized they are the most important things in my life. I have definitely gotten closer with my S6, who has always been a mommy's boy, but I find myself relating to him more and more. I don't know where I would be without them. I actually think they keep me from getting depressed because I know I have to be for them.

Since I confronted my W last week she has actually changed towards our kids and actually spent time with them over the weekend. She took them to a zoo with a friend of hers on Sunday and was involved in their lives. She also texted me last Friday to let me know what time she would be home without me asking her too. I am not saying she is not up to something but I hope this means she is giving more effort and at least trying to be a better mom.