@darknes, well it does not matter, it never did. What does matter is that she inconveniences my life with her impromptu walk-outs. Which is unacceptable. So she must let me know so that I can plan my days better. She still tells me about OM1 and OM2 without me asking.
@dream, we live our lives thinking that we must hold onto everything, as though we can take it with us when we die. true detachment, which this forum advocates, is what we really all need to do. But not just with our WS's. With everyone and everything. It's like having a dog, you love that dog every day and every minute and then he dies, and you feel sad. But you don't have to feel sad, cos you enjoyed every minute. Appreciate the moments in your life and when something or someone leaves your life, look forward. Not back.
As for my sich, been divorced for 6 weeks now. My life has not gone better. XWW is as distant as I want to keep her. Still in the spare room. i paid her settlement out last week and got the mortgage approved in my name for the house. She's put in an offer for a place around the corner so S will not have to be inconvenienced too much by the D.
She gets into her regret around every corner, of how I threw her away, and I never fought for her or the M when she showed signs of giving up. I repeat every time that "I did throw her away, cos it was either me saving myself, or saving the M, and I know that i'm worth a whole lot more than an unhappy M and a disrespectful WW". Somehow, it does not sink in, perhaps the lack of care coming to the fore.
My future looks super awesome, detachment was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. And I will do it a million times over just to get to where I am. I am 110% detached from her. But the real task is being detached from everyone and everything, that is where we find real joy in life. A life where people come and go, but you remain unmoved, unhinged, only God can move you then.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
