Zues, I actually wasn't the least bit angry or spewing - he was the angry and spewing one. It doesn't have to be a two-way argument with him, he can fly into a rage all by himself. I guess it sounds like we were arguing based on him reacting that way and hanging up on me, but the anger was all on his end. I trained myself years ago to be completely non-emotional with him to try to not escalate the daily rage.
My mistake. I was referring to the content not delivery, and I was projecting because I couldn't understand the motivation beyond sending this type of message if it wasn't originated in resentment of some type. I get that you're beyond wanting R with this man and I don't blame you, but I'm not sure that means what you do doesn't matter. It still impacts you, and you're who I care about. Take care of yourself P!
It was the tail-end of a conversation where we had talked about some practical things, then I asked him if he had made a decision in regards to the D process. He has said pretty consistently that he is 'comfortable' being S, that he is in no hurry to file - but he has said a lot of things that turned out to be complete lies, for instance that he had NC with OW and had absolutely NO plans of moving her in...
So since he can file in a month, I asked again if he had planned to file. He said he didn't even know the time frame and is just living day to day (I think he plays more dumb than he is), but still in no rush to file. I then made him aware of what I will do if he files, purely so he would know what to expect and not be surprised by the response. I had no emotional motivation at all.
His response was extremely emotional, which wasn't unexpected. I'd rather he finds out now so he doesn't feel like he walked into a trap or that I was hiding this from him, because I know from experience he reacts badly to surprises. Hearing it from me is less of a shock (I've told him before that it's what I feel is right to do) than getting the papers served. Also, by talking to him, I can better judge his reaction and learn what he's thinking.
His anger doesn't touch me anymore, but I appreciate your concern.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
