Maybell 40

[DonH]

Hmmmmmmmm so much here. I don't know if I can help you to the degree you did on my thread several weeks ago but perhaps I can ask some questions and make some points that help you to help yourself.

You seem to be so full of contidictions. Even this thread starts out by saying you don't know what there is to report. Then you go in to report huge things! That caught me right away.

You say in a variety of ways how much you like, now love, this guy yet you were ready to end it? Really? You sort of said the same a few weeks ago about having to leave if he failed to say ILY when you did. What's up with all of this? He has noticed you want to run and I get the same sense. He had an idea why, I'm less sure why - just sure it's the case. Are you testing him? I have to wonder. Are you testing to see what he will do and that he's committed?

I next observe you want to be with him more but not if you have to be together. Hmmmm that's very interesting and I'd have to say confusing. What's this having to be "on"? It almost sounds like being on means being someone else. Are you really saying you just want to be yourself and feel you can't be?

Those are just a few. Figuring out why is above my pay grade. It's also just so so hard to really know what's going on just from reading what you write. What would he say? It sounds like he's a good dude and you can be a handful. Just a gut guess.

And then last you say this is really only the second relationship you've had. Was Mr. wonderful one of your first BFs? If so, I really wonder if NG really was this amazing lucky find or perhaps was just next in line and you'll take that? That is hard to explain. I just have come to see there are some people who find love right away then others who rarely do. I just saw that again with someone just out of a LTR. She just got "lucky" and found this guy so soon. Thing is, this is the 4th time this has happened in 20 plus years. She's never really dated a buch of guys. Perhaps not the best example. My point is, you overlooked this with Mr. W. Then little dating and #2 is found. If there were few if any prior to Ex that certainly would not be typical and I wonder how it contributes.

I hope something in there flushes out some thoughts that help.