SO I was on here about 8 years ago when my first wife left me. Ended getting a divorce. she remarried soon after, and I remarried 2 years ago. (dated 2 years before that) I am just going through highs and lows right now. This time its hard, but I am more empowered now. I DO NOT want to lose her! I do not want to lose my step kids!
It's the deal where I see my faults. I see what makes her unhappy. She told me that part of it is that I am depressed and unmotivated. She is a high achieving A personality.. and I am not. She wants me to do more than just survive. It brings her down.She doesnt even want to come home from work. She just told me that she would eat ice cream on the way home, and then put on a happy face when she got home.
I found out that I had ADD a couple years ago. I am learning how it affects relationships. We were (or should I say are) a classic couple where the ADD person takes the role of child and the normal spouse takes the role of adult.
We just bought my parents house, and took on the task of cleaning, purging, and remodeling. It has been in process since last December, and I know that the mess has taken a toll on her emotions as well.... she gets stressed and has anxiety over cluttered messy houses.... and this does not help.
I dont think she is seeing anyone else. I could be wrong, but I dont think so.
she told me the news about 5 days ago.
and I told her we could talk about it later, as she was going to be busy with her second job at night, and sleeping during the day.She works weekends at night to help get out of debt.
anyway, sorry about the lack of abbreviations.. I will try to learn them as I go.
I was just hoping that someone had insight into marriage where one spouse has ADD and is unmotivated and depressed, and the other is high driving type A....
I told her that I would like us to get couple counseling, but she said that that would not change her mind.
Anyway, It's nice to have this forum to let it all out, and hopefully get some support.
