HalfTheMan & MLC-W

[HTM]

Ok so an update on what’s been happening over the last couple of weeks.

W had a week away w/ Ss staying over at SIL’s place, something we used to do annually as a family, which I found a little difficult to deal w/ tbh. Thought, after all that had gone on w/ the court order being raised, me involving a solicitor, etc., a break from recent toxic interactions would be good for me. However, I did find myself sliding back into a depressive mood about the MR, even got tearful on one occasion. I certainly missed my Ss, when they’re around it helps me focus and reminds me to be a great dad. Still managed to GAL somewhat by playing host and cooking for some friends one evening, then again on another evening for my elder (WAW) sister. Another evening I played doubles tennis, though I did let myself down a little by skipping gym all week & hardly venturing out.

Anyway, last week I got to take Ss away with me on a mini-vacation or ‘boys road-trip’ as we ended up calling it We spent a couple of days at a splash/water park and then a few more at a seaside town, all great fun. Supposedly W was going to spend more time at SIL’s while we were away but I suspect, due to a lack of FB activity, she actually met up w/ OM. Anyway, I didn’t let it get to me and just focused on having a good time with my two Ss.

Yesterday W & I had a calm discussion about separation, W talked about her plans post-house sale. She intends to rent locally for a few months & pay off her debts -get the impression these are mounting- then buy a 3-bed house 100+ miles away from London somewhat closer to SIL, changing job in the process. Naturally the subject of co-parenting & custody came up and it seems W is ok to uproot Ss from schools/friends -as if their parents splitting wasn’t enough for them to deal with- and have them move with her. W intimated that should she end-up w/ mostly weekend custody, she’d want the odd weekend to herself and it would be ok for me to have Ss more -prime example of the MLCer me, me, me mentality at work. Now I suspect there may be more behind this “fresh start” plan than W lets on so I’ll take it with ‘a pinch of salt’ until actions match words. When I suggested moving closer to SIL might be handy to help out w/ Ss care, W emphasised that she didn't intend on using her sister as a babysitter -I’m thinking this has got fantasy plan to be w/, or closer to, OM written all over it. I didn’t really react to any of what W said, stayed calmed, offered some input here & there and gave a potential plan of my own. Upon reflection of her intentions, I’ve arrived at a conclusion and a decision:

• Moving/being away from supporting family & friends at a difficult time in one’s life is madness!
• If separation & house sale go ahead I’m going to do whatever is in my power to stay close to where we live now to minimise upheaval for Ss and ensure family/friends are close by for them/me.

In the next few days both Ss return to school and then the regular routine of running them to/from school as well as sports/activities will begin again. I intend to speak to both Ss schools/form-tutors this week, ensuring they're aware of the imminent separation and to ask they monitor the affect it may have on Ss.