Yes I would agree that help from the spouse is not what the WAS/MLCer wants. That said, by the time the apparent need for help arose, things had probably reached a tipping point anyway.
If you want to revisit that time in your mind, best to do it from a place of wanting to learn about yourself as a partner and look at whether there are things you would want to change going forwards - either for possible future R with your W or some other lucky lady further down the line.
I guess my point above is.....it's all still about your W and that's what concerns me for you Huddy. If you keep your focus on her, this is a long and miserable path with wet boots in driving rain. I know you are managing to DB externally, but I'm not sure you are making the internal shift.
I'd like to ask the question.....if your W was never coming back....and you weren't ready to date either.....what would you be doing to live your life as happily as possible?
I'm sorry that the kids have voiced their upset - that must be hard to hear and of course whether you live together again is only partly within your control. But being the best and most supportive Dad you can be is wholly within your control and the best place to focus....and it sounds like you are doing a great job there...
Hope your week goes well my friend x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
