It's a new dawn, new day, new life....

[Shining]

I was just perusing through and missing some old friends. It's been a long, long time since I have posted. Seeing Mighty's post on Heather's thread inspired me!

Quick update for those who may remember me

After my D was final in April of 2015, I moved into a new house in the same neighborhood to keep my kids in their school. One month after moving, I was laid off from my Oil and Gas job!! But then, I was so lucky, and I found the best job ever!

2 of my 4 kids that were still at home did really well in school. One of my adult S(then 19) moved back home for a few months and enlisted in the Army, so now both twins are on their own and finding their own way. They seem to love it.

College search for S#3 brought us to a new state in the pacific NW, and we just fell in love with the area! After much consideration, several visits, and research, we packed up and moved across the country.

It was a tough decision, but honestly, I was still suffering from PTSD with some anxiety and depression. All of the surroundings in our old metro area were triggers for me. I felt as though I had healed as much as I could, but the environment was a daily reminder of a life I once had.

I was doing well overall, but crying every day on my way to and from work. Who cries all the way to the best job ever? Me.

I just didn't want to live like that. I didn't like the pain. I didn't like my outlook on life. I started feeling bitter and angry. I didn't like who I was. I felt myself sinking, and feeling stuck. I felt like I had to shake things up for myself and hit the reset button. And since none of my family lived in that state, it was relatively easy to transition and have a fresh start. And I'm so glad we did it.

I still grieve the life I thought I would have, but it is not nearly as frequent as it was even 6 months ago. Figuring out what the life that "I" wanted would look like, and then choosing to do that has truly been the turning point in my emotional growth.

I don't cry everyday anymore. In fact, I hardly ever think of the past or the pain anymore. Changing my surroundings has been so therapeutic!

I never thought I would enjoy being alone. I was as co-dependent as they come! Yet, here I am, loving it.

I still have a ton of work I would like to do on myself. I will always be learning who I am and trying to become the person my dog thinks I am.

To those who are newly into this nightmare, please keep posting. Hang in there. Listen to the vets. There is so much support, wisdom, and love on this board.