In the UK - PT20 - Moved here!

[Huddy]

I was thinking today, back to when W came out of hospital from her tummy tuck. It got infected, so, she asked if I would take her to hospital. I did, and all was OK. On the way back (should just mention that the kids were there as well and it's the first time she has sat beside me since BD) she asked to go to Tesco (a UK supermarket for my overseas friends!). I said I'd take her (I had no intention of doing her shopping though) and suggested a one near where we used to live.

She snapped back that she'd rather go to one in the next city. I said I didn't want to do that and she said we must as she didn't want to be seen. I asked why, and she just said she had her reasons. I wonder if it was guilt or if she was hoping nobody saw her, ready for her 'reveal' for when school re-opened.

I've been re-reading some homework, and got on to the one about MLC and depression. Before BD, I had noticed that W had become a little distant and sometimes went out of the room to lie in a bedroom on her own. At the time, she said she just wanted a few minutes away from the kids, but of course, looking back, it was probably the start of the depression curve.

I think this is where I made a mistake as I also was aware that W had started down the menopause route and I had been trying to get her to go to the Doctors for help. I also made the classic error of asking her mother and sister for help. Funny how they change sides when the shite hits the fan!

I then look at BD day. It was a Sunday, and I'd been told by a friend that St. John's Wort can help. I went to Tesco and bought a packet. Wow, that stuff is expensive! I came home and gave her it and said I was worried about her and that's where this all started - pow, BD!

I can't get her to get help. That ship has sailed and to try now, I feel, would be a mistake. I don't know why I get so disappointed when I see her. Maybe, I'm just wondering if? Is today the day when she reaches out? Is today the day the fog clears? I wish I had some answers.

Is there a link to menopause and MLC? I have read some non DB pieces on the net, but, nothing specific. It's also worth mentioning that her Mother had a really bad menopause as well. She was early and it was combined with the time my W was being prepared for an 'arranged' marriage by her Father.