I feel almost guilty posting, because I know my sitch is nothing like what some of you are dealing with, but I still need the DB process, and it helps to record.
I find that as we get firer from the crisis, it's easy to lose focus on some of the 180s. Not the sex one, but the emotional fusion/detachment one and the GAL.
One small, insidious example of emotional fusion. Friday, H and I went out to dinner and walking around town. We stopped at a shop that sells ice cream and chocolates. As we were waiting for our ice cream cones to be scooped, I mention how much I love fudge. H commented that I must not love it as much as I love ice cream, and I realized that I would have rather had fudge, but I didn't consider getting it because H was getting ice cream. So stupid.
I also struggle to not take ownership of his moods and to not expect him to soothe my moods.
Emotionally, it's a mix. On the one hand, I think it's highly likely that H is acting loving without feeling loving. My primary love language is words of affirmation, and I'm getting none of those, but I'm getting lots of acts of service and quality time and physical touch.
On the other hand, even knowing he might be acting as if instead of feeling it, I am happy. I'm kind of amazed that I can be happy even knowing things are shaky.
Detachment. GAL. Must keep the focus there.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
