NOT SO TRUE! I had a broken computer for a few days. Here I am again and I'm really grateful for all your replys. I take the point that we shouldn't get married until we resolve this but how do you explain that to friends and family? We still haven't got the wedding planning done and I wonder if we're both subconciously delaying it because we're not comfortable? There's nothing like a looming wedding to bring things to a head and maybe its ultimum time.
I didn't mention in my first post that I have just got over 2 years of testicular cancer treatment and things are looking good now. My GF was so wonderful during this time and looked after me so well. We have become so much closer as a result. Until then I had sometimes doubted her love for me (she once said she would never tell me she loves me, that it doesn't need to be said) and wondered if she just wanted to be with me to stay in the UK (she is Brazilian but got her British passport last year). I never did really believe that though, I now know she does truely love me, she just can't express it. I thought these Brazilian girls were supposed to be highly charged. Looks like I picked a duff one!
She also once said that as sex wasn't of concern to her that as long as she didn't know, I could go off and get it elsewhere. I could never do that as it was her I loved and wanted sex with. I just grew more and more frustrated and quite depressed at times. When she did permit sex, she told me to hurry up and get it done quickly and very soon I found I couldn't get erect anyway. I resigned myself to masturbation for the rest of my life but soon found that made me feel more disappointed and angry.
However, I think we've had a breakthough since my illness in that she does now allow very occasional discussion of the subject and seems to be saying that she's not adverse to sex just completely neutral to it.
She says she has no desire in her head at all and needs that before anything else. We also found out that her low thyroid function can cause this and although she's been taking thyroxine for over a year, it doesn't seem to have done anything for her libido.
