You've got a lot of homework to read through, but if you have questions along the way, please feel free to post them here and the posters will provide guidance, advice, suggestions, etc.
It's okay to express your anger here because we don't like to have that turned towards the spouse or anyone in your life right now. This is a safe place to vent. Yes, we do hand out 2 x 4's periodically, but only if they are warranted. We care about the posters and we want to help you navigate the path you are walking on at the moment. It's never a straight one because there will be twists, turns and plenty of bumps along the way, so w/saying all of that...back to the reading.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
