I'm sorry you are here, but you are going to meet some wonderful people who are walking the path right now and some who have crossed the finish line. Each and every poster is a success, i.e., whether they reconciled w/their spouses or not.
From what you posted, it does sound like your h is in crisis mode. So, I'm going to post the "Welcome Thread" that Cadet usually posts to all newbies. I don't know if Cadet will be along later, as the east coast is bracing for the tropical storm this weekend.
So here is the "Welcome Thread". I encourage you to do the homework reading and if you have more questions, etc., please do not be afraid to ask them. Take some time to read the threads and educate yourself as much as possible on depression, as depression is the main ingredient of MLC, and most importantly familiarize yourself w/MLC. No two people will go through the crisis the same, the crisis will be over when the MLCer decides, their clock is very, very slow and we can't rush the process, nor can we snap them out of it. This is the time for you to focus on yourself.
Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)
I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.
This POST is under reconstruction and we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version.
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does.
I would not ask him/her anything unless you can have no expectations. Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure. You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H/W as controlling or pressure.
Lets not worry about him/her. Lets work on you! Start your homework assignments. Something to DO while you are on moderation. GAL. Eat, sleep, exercise and take a deep breath. In general take care of your self first.
Detach the single most important thing to DO.
Your H/W has given you a gift THE GIFT OF TIME use it wisely
