She's gone. Living in the now.

[Sotto]

Hi Scrant, I'm glad you guys had a good time together in London. :-)

Yes, it always brings things into sharp focus when these events crop up. For me, XH's family are transatlantic and haven't chosen to keep in touch with me at all. I was sad about it, but it does meant these dilemma's didn't crop up.

It's just a thought, but might your W start trying to include OM in some family things? I'm not sure about the invite from her Aunt and up to you of course. As time has gone on, I have shifted from thinking about 'will this help or hinder my sitch' to 'is this someone I'm fond of and want to spend time with?' I let that govern me now...

As for your S's B'day - from what you post I don't think he would be super keen to have Mum and Dad together for his birthday do. Would it be best to ask him what he would like and start making plans on that basis? You could always say to W - S and me have made plans to go out for lunch that day, but he'd love to see you later etc..

It's JMHO, but I don't think 'friends' would be the way to go with your W. She had an A and bailed out of your M - I don't think those are 'friendly' acts. That said, there is plenty of middle ground between 'friends' and 'petty and rude.' I would aim for minimal, pleasant co-parenting. For me, the idea of 'keeping in touch as friends' with XH would be unattractive (as he may be settling deeper into an R w OW, planning a M, family etc??)..
Ugh, that wouldn't work for me and he didn't leave our M in a way that really allowed for friendship after D.

All JMHO of course, but try to do what suits you, helps you keep moving forward. Much better to invest in forging new links than trying to build friendship with your W whilst she remains with OM.

Hope you have a good weekend my friend :-) x