Thanks vise. I definitely feel more in control now than I have throughout this whole thing. There seems to be two underlying themes here. W seems to want me to push this thing forward, not her. For what purpose I can guess, but I don't know for sure. Second, W seems to be giving a hint that her quality time tank is empty. She probably filled this recently with OM stuff so it'd make sense if she's shutoff contact with him. Unsure if she has or not though. A 3rd thing could be that she's trying to undercut me by getting me to leave the marital home before we get an agreement in place.
W won't force me out of the house. Nor does she seem to recognize that if we split then D will be forced into a sub optimal living situation for a long period of time.
Regardless, W wanting me to leave the house seems like the ultimate in cake eating. Really not that upset about it right now, just seems silly she'd even mention it.
On engaging and giving her space, that's where I'm a bit stuck. She says she wants to talk but then in the same breath says she doesn't. She ignores me around the house then says I don't engage her. she seems to be making up stuff that fits whatever she's trying to spin at that point in time. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Got up early to get donuts for the girls when they get up from their sleepover. Sipping coffee and typing this and W comes over and tells me to stop getting donuts bc they are unhealthy for D and her friends. Says I need to talk to her before doing that.
It never stops. Guess I'll need to be upfront tonight about not leaving and if she leaves then we need a custody sharing agreement in place. If she pushes on the "this is fixable" stuff I'll toe the line of you know the option on that and it's hard work that we both need to be committed to. Right now I know that's not an option bc she still views me as an impediment to her future life and she shows no remorse for the OM situation.
Vise, your thoughts are spot on and extremely timely and helpful! Really appreciated bud!!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
