Back from London where S and I had a good time together. We did lots of things and got on really well. I'm back at work, catching up with colleagues and feeling motivated. S has had a couple of meals with his mum but I've had no contact with her since our face to face. Yesterday I had to email about upcoming expenses for S but she didn't respond which is ok as long as she shares costs when the time comes. Her aunt has invited S and I to her daughter's birthday lunch, W will be there too. I haven't replied yet but it got me thinking about S's birthday next month as well. We haven't been together as a family since S's birthday last year which was a week after W moved out to live with OM. Everyone around us knows I have no desire to do with things with W. I don't want to seem rude but also I don't want W to think that she has got her friend back and everything is ok again. Every time we meet she likes to finish off with the hug and the kiss to check I'm still there. We've only met three times this year and although I miss her that suits me fine as I try to rebuild my life. She still appears in my dreams nightly but I can't control those! I've no idea what she is thinking or feeling as I don't ask anyone about her, given the time her affair lasted and all that she gave up to be with OM I assume she is committed to making her new life work. My doubt now is whether it is time for me to try and make the whole friend thing work without ever doing anything with OM as well ( that would be too hard to swallow ) or to keep on the path I've chosen which could make me seem petty or rude.
