MLC, WAW or WW?? Who really knows? Help...pls

[RosaLinda]

Oh Roe. My heart is breaking for you and your children. How awful that your wife has threatened divorce in front of them, and has tried to sway them to her side. And embarassed the older ones with her antics with OM. Kids feel that humiliation so deeply.

To me, that's immature and selfish, not how a good Mom should act. I so admire your determination to show your kids what it means to live honorably, even when going through the hell you're living in right now. It will mean a lot to them to know that, like Job, you did all you could to save your relationship and honor your marriage vows.

But also, by your good example in dealing with their mother, that people should treat each with courtesy and respect, and that no one should permit someone to abuse them. I think it's an especially important lesson for your daughters.

You're right. This is a difficult balancing act. Maybe, when your wife starts spewing her nastiness, you could try quietly saying something like Wife, I will not allow you to talk to me like that. And walk away. But don't bad mouth her or complain about her, and just reassure your kids that you both love them, and that they are not at all to blame for the problems their mom and you are going through.

My poor youngest son had already graduated from high school when he started witnessing my ex bringing women to our home, openly skyping with his OW in front of him, and flying to Moscow to visit them, and still, at the age of 28, blamed himself for our divorce

How sad to come to the realization that you no longer want to be married to your wife. Maybe you are really detaching (this waxes and wanes) and are moving forward. Not necessarily moving on, just letting go, moving forward and allowing your wife to go through what ever process she is experiencing with no interference from you. What did she say when you agreed with her about getting divorced?

Sorry for rambling, I'm sort of tired and a bit incoherent. Also am trying to write this on my phone so please forgive any grammar or spelling check weirdness.