I won't do what everybody else is doing and tell you not to go through with the wedding. But what I will tell you is that you damn sure better get this sorted out before you go through with it. Of course you know that though. Everyone here is right . . . it will only get worse once you are married. At that point, there is no longer any motivation for her to do anything at all. I mean, after the vows, she's got what she really wanted right? There's no longer any carrot for you to hold out to get the mule moving.
It seems to me that you are in a very very good position to make it clear that this is a deal breaker for you. And believe me, if you get married now, you will eventually realize that this was indeed a deal breaker. The misery you feel now will multiply tenfold a few years from now.
You've already invested alot of time in this relationship. So has she. If you convey to her that this is a huge issue for you and she dismisses it then you've got a woman who is obviously not going to value your happiness above her own.
