Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife

[CT1118]

I choose a digression to begin with. I studied martial arts for a few years in my early 20's, studied with a man from Samurai lineage; he ran a fairly brutal but honest school. I got quite good at it; Aikido, Aiki-jitsu, and Kendo, I took everything the Dojo offered. Thing is, once the higher ranks realized you were getting good, you tended to be challenged frequently.

So, more often than not I began being requested - as in told - to remain after class. Sensai would leave and I would be faced with 2-5 black belts who attack, sometimes one to one, sometimes all at once. There were only about 2-3 students who received the beatings with me, which were referred to as "gentle kindness" from the higher ranks. And by beatings, I mean we were allowed to defend ourselves in full contact martial arts against people who were significantly more trained than us, defense was bit of a misnomer when it all began.

I had my wrist bruised to the bone once by a black belt with a bokto (wooden sword we sparred with) who went to far - he did it on purpose and in my 2nd day of the Kendo courses. I was exceedingly angry and wanted bite his throat out - in those days I could have, but I took it, barely showed it. So I thought. Other black belts saw what he did, at the time and after class when one of them gave me first aid. I found out later (many months later) the black belts self regulated their own, out of site of the lower ranks. He was forced to lay face down on wood and the Sensai beat him with that bokto across dude's back until a point was made.

Not long after that I was sparring with the black belts again. The things they said to me had changed. I was told I held back and was willing to be hit before I did hit. I agreed. On a particular weekend training a higher rank paired me w/ a slightly lower rank black belt and they both told me not to hold back.

At the call of hajime, he threw a right strike at my face and I caught his wrist on the underside in my left hand, used his own momentum to guide it up and lean it back towards his own head while my right hand connected and shoved his elbow in the same direction all as I was stepping forward with full body weight and all in a motion, however long motions take. The result was his right fist behind his right shoulder blade, arm bent at the elbow which was parallel to top of his head and by the time his mouth responded to the pain for him to scream OSS his right should was dislocated and his right tendon in his elbow torn.

Now, neither of us knew that at the time and neither of us were basterds. I helped him and I call for help and I apologized. He was not upset, but hurting, and he took it very well. He told me later I responded with training and did what I was told to do. Later on at the next dojo party whenever that was, he showed up with his arm in a sling and a brace. He actually apologized to me. He knew I did not mean to hurt him, but he did mean to push me. We talked for a while. I quit that dojo not long after. No other reason than I left the state for work. I may have forgotten or neglected all those fancy moves and philosophies, but not how fondly I recall those days and those teachers.

Now the above was true. And if it seemed like crystal clear allegory, than it seems I have finally been successful in my communications. So its important you know: I had not thought about the above tale in such detail in quite some time, so something about my page 8 here stirred a significant memory replay. Next, the above was a learning experience like one I have never had until that time - that physical pain can come in the form of love and education. Also true of it is that I still love all of those people (even the guy I wanted to esophagate with my teeth is off the sht list) even if I no longer know them. Lastly, I did not write that tale from my life with the intent for modern actors to replace past actors.

So, I get it. I know why. I understand. Now...I am ready to reply to the above from all of you. And what choice do I have anyway? You black belts scarred all of the lower belts off my mat, so if pain is the way to understand the conversation... hajime.