I do not consider myself amazing...I went through Hades and back w/my xh and his MLC. He was a monster from the get go and remained that way for about 6 years and then finally settled down into the next stage of playing at replay and there he is...still stuck. He finally filed for divorce, married the OW, she died 9 year later from ovarian cancer and while she was in Hospice, he was on the search for his next crutch, all the while staying in contact w/me as a "just a friend". Now, I don't hear from him and it's for the best. I moved forward and have been living my life to the fullest.
I didn't discover DB until after I opened the door and basically helped him out the door. By the time he flew the coop, my marriage was completely over and I knew in my heart that he would never return...why? Because he destroyed everything in his path and the damage was too great to repair. However, I will say this, DB was my lifeline for many years. I have met a few of the most wonderful people here and have stayed in touch w/them over the years. I learned that I was stronger than I thought and one thing I did manage to learn...that is patience! Patience was not something I had much of, but I've learned to count to ten before saying something that I may not be able to take back, I've learned to listen, ask questions and then offer up suggestions/opinions.
I remain here to pay it forward. There are so many people who need help in understanding that you can't fix these people, but you can certainly fix yourselves as you travel the Yellow Brick Road.
You'll get there. Have patience and I do have a truckload of shovels to help you along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
