The Fight For Self III

[CT1118]

Let me get back on track with the Fight for Self here:

The Reinvention of All that Is Me

I know from reading around the forums the struggles we all have. Confusion, pain, anger, tears...list could continue across the spectrum until we reach strength, resolve, wisdom. It can be frustrating to be here and see some who began after us make gains before us. Likewise, to read stories from those who feel stuck in one spot, from those who are just beginning, or from those two years down the roads still working. Every single person's story speaks to the challenge of what we face.

My friend albac posted something on another friend thread recently I wanted to clip and share here, because it is worth spreading:

From albac -

"The reinvention of all that is me"
I also wrote this above. It is a clip from a paragraph of albac replying. Its out of context, but stands alone. I may put it on a T-shirt, or name my next book, album or dog after that sentence. Words are power, and that sentence has magic. If you are wondering, 'what is this divorce busting all about?' There you go, those 7 words cut it to the bone. Nothing is about anything here but you. Open your heart to this idea.

"I have worked on me but she at the moment she is just trying to push her problems aside. If she doesn't want to work on her then we will never work."
albac takes us into the sublime again. This is so true. But it works in reverse - if your personal mission statement does not begin with "I have worked on me..." you will remain just a portrait of something that used to be to your other. And the really hard work too. The really hard work that you have to do... Do it.

"So I guess my point is as hard as it is to swallow, I need to turn my ego off for a second and realize that right this minute as things stand I am far better off without my W. It hurts for sure but it is the only way."

Yes Yes Yes. ad infinitum. Once again, this is hits core concept so well. Awakening. Realization. Hope. For the self, all of the above.

So thank you albac. In all fairness to albac, the above are removed fro the context of the thread where I got them. However, the statements lept upon me as I read them and surely they have meaning on their own.

At some point we can all wake up to the fact that our lives are not about our others. We can love them, we can want them, we can hope they get better - H3ll, if we are fully evolved and that type of person, we can hope they are happy with or without us. My hardest part of this has been the children. Not just my own story, but reading others, so much confusion with the children there. Most of us agree, "...were it not for the kids..." maybe that's easy to say and maybe its true - I will never know, I am going through this with a child. But even then, our lives are not about those kids. This was the hardest to swallow, and the last pill I had to.

Our children do not need a shell of the person who looks like mom/dad, our children require the power source inside. Think about it. If one day our kids do not love or respect us, it will not be because we had a great looking corpse, it will be because inside we were a corpse. As well, our children are not the weapons of war. Not hammers, not nails, not for us to wield. This was the last pill for me. I have to come first to put my son first. I have to save my own life so that I will not create a second victim. I have to be into me for me; you must be for you.

Look at yourself, learn yourself, judge yourself, believe in yourself, work on yourself, improve yourself, heal yourself, believe in yourself, look at yourself, know yourself, help others, repeat as required.