Newcomer - need to talk to someone.

[NotATLDave]

Just when you thought nobody else would chime in, the retired poster is poking in here.

Alex,
I'm not sure how to explain the dynamics of this but when our sex life dwindled to nothing (immediately after marriage), I was able to rationalize the fact that my wife was my soulmate therefore I should just live with it and be happy that everything else was so good. I assumed that sex represents about 10% of a marriage therefore living with 90% of everything "right" is good....right? The angst and frustration quietly builds up over time until somethings pulls the blindfold off and there you are...completely aware that your situation sucks and that sex means a lot more than that. When looking at a relationship for "friendship", "common interests", "good conversation and communication", you cannot put sex into that mix. I initially said 10% but would have recently said 50%. I don't event like to look at sex as "component" of a relationship but rather as something that validates and enhances the other meaningful components that I just mentioned.

I'm sorry but I have to agree with all the other folks here. Don't get married until you work through more of this. I know it sounds insane to gamble with a seemingly perfect relationship. The problem is that this tiny "freckle" on it is actually a melanoma...you can be living and feeling good now, but the longer you wait, the more drastic the treatment will be.