Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife

[ericmsant2]

CT

You have taken so much time on my posts and I cannot thank you enough.

No need to thank me. My only ask, is that you pay it forward, find the people that are coming behind you and help them.

There were a few points in there where I felt you were being quite dismissive, but I do believe this was not your intent.

You are correct, that was not my intent at all. Here’s the thing, understanding and answering some of these questions take time. Usually, the LBS does not want that time. They want the MLCer to come back and come back now. I was not being dismissive. I was pushing a little. I want you to think about this quote. I do not need a response just think about it.

“If it stings – look at it”
When someone says or post something that stirs up a feeling. It usually means that we still have work to do.

You ask a creative introverted mind a question like that, the answer you get may be abstract, but that does not make it less true for the respondent.

Okay. I would still like more of an action type answer. Read Mach1 post on your thread. Chances are he is explaining much better than I can.

Also, ADHD and introversion have ruined me, I have gone to great lengths to work beyond them in the past 6 months and am proud of the progress.

Not trying to minimize the impact ADHD has….I will say that often times, people use the issues we have as a crutch to avoid dealing with the bigger issues. For me, I had ton of excuses that I gave myself….”you don’t understand”, “but the kids”, “my sitch is different”, etc. Try to avoid using things as an excuse to avoid digging deep. As for the progress, I am happy for you. Keep it up.

Rest assured though, this not only guides how I loved in the past, but how I am friends, how I am a son, how I am a father, how I am a leader, etc. But I am awake and it will be a challenge, sometimes minute by minute, but I refuse to let it govern my future.

Good – don’t let it govern your future. Now, how have you “loved”?

To meet your example head on, my mother did slap me everyday, she still loved me, her love had nothing to do with the chaos in her mind which ruined her capacity for a healthy handling of her pain.

Good point. I may not agree 100% with this. How do you think your mother relationship impacted YOU?

"I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me."

I love that line!

job, you are all amazing. I am here to do the hard work, here to understand. When I don't seem to understand, appear argumentative, or contrary, I hope you know it is a process I go through to arrive at understanding.

Yes Job is amazing. As for the argumentative, we all get it – It does not mean that we will stop pushing you. The key….is when YOU are start pushing YOURSELF.

I just love to pick on E...

He says I remind him of his mom.

FTR, she ain’t lying. Picks on me all the time. She used to call me bonehead. LOL. And yeah, she does look a little like my mother.

Have a great weekend and do me a favor, read Mach post several times and give your responses to his questions a lot of thought.

Peace,
Eric