J3B, Mach, Eric, Cadet and all of the other posters that have been posting to you came along after I was here for a while. I can honestly say that they all have grown by leaps and bounds. Why? Because they posted, they listened (at times didn't want to hear what was said), they did the hard, necessary work to work on themselves. It took a while because we all come here trying to find the magic potion to bring our spouses back...but at the end of the day, we come to realize that we can only work on ourselves. We finally figure out that some of us are controllers, co-dependents, etc., and the biggest culprit...we are fixers. We want to fix our spouses. Unfortunately, we can't.
Take time and truly listen to what the posters are saying. If it helps, print off the postings and read and re-read them again and again. Make your journey about YOU! I know you can do it! Leave your wife to her own journey and if she hits the brick wall a thousand times over, don't rescue her. She needs to learn the lessons w/o your help.
Hang in there!
job, you are all amazing. I am here to do the hard work, here to understand. When I don't seem to understand, appear argumentative, or contrary, I hope you know it is a process I go through to arrive at understanding. For example, in my reply to eric, the things I did not comment on were the things I heard loud and clear and I processed. What I did comment on, I felt I had to say, but not a word of it meant rejection of what was proposed. So please, I hope no one here ever mistakes my positions if they disagree as me being indignant.
I also know that I can never thank you all enough and trust that my return of gratitude will be a presence here one day when I am you (as in all of you) 2/5/10 years from know helping others in the way I am being helped.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
