What should I be doing (Working toward D 9)

[Zues126]

If WW refuses to end an A you have no choice but to stick to your boundaries, detach, and move forward with your life.

Where I differ is that I wouldn't take any steps at this time that would burn bridges or make the possibility of R greater, and my steps would still be guided with the idea in mind of giving the chance for things to turn around.

It's a balance. The porridge of being a plan B, pursuing, remaining attached, and being diminished by not voicing and enforcing your personal boundaries is too hot. The porridge of writing off the marriage, pursuing fantasy, following emotions and rationalizations, impatiently trying to get out of limbo, that to me is too cold. DBing is just right as you can GAL, 180, detach, build a new life and all...but in a way that is designed to allow her to return to you if she wishes and to have room for her if she does.

I guess it's your timelines and how quickly you're moving that worried me along with the emotions and thoughts that are driving you. At some point you do emotionally move on and take the steps you're taking now, personally I would want to look back and know I stood by through my marital crisis until it was clear how it was going to play out before I closed that chapter. Your show though, and I appreciate the respectful discussion.